Sunday, July 23, 2017

What the hell have I done

Woah. Scott came to our church today and preached my face off. His crazy story is a little like mine. Too bad I have wasted the last 15 years of my life and he has provided clean water to millions. Geez. What is it that some people have that thing that makes them get up and go and some people sit on the sidelines and let their lives pass them by?

Call it the "I'm almost 45 life crisis" or whatever but for the love I can not get settled. My sprit. My heart. My head. It's all crazy. I've been feeling so reflective and yet resentful at the same time about the past 15 years of my life. What in the hell difference have I made? Yeah I have 2 great kids yada yada but those 2 kids are spoiled and entitled and have no sense of anything outside of themselves. As a mom I feel like I have failed them. Failed our family. Our marriage. In almost the same amount of time that Scott has basically changed the freaking world I have lived in a shitty marriage, watched my mom die from stupid breast cancer and raised 2 entitled kids. Woohoo. Good for me. 

I'm having a massive pity party today. 




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